Thursday, September 18, 2003
last april, i wrote this in an email to dan:
sometimes, dan. sometimes, i get a very strong premonition, nono. i get this feeling that i'm doing something very, very wrong. that there is an important task at hand that i am neglecting because i don't know what it is, or because i'm being made to do something else. that's when i get antsy, i think. and that is what manifests itself in strong declarations of my non-college intent.
would you think less of me if i didn't go?
would i?
it seems like time is racing by and if i don't start acting now.. if i keep learning and writing papers and attending class, then by the time i finish i'll be unable to do anything.
i know these are things i've said before, but i just keep thinking them.
maybe if i say them again, they'll be out.
it seems like time is racing by and if i don't start acting now.. if i keep learning and writing papers and attending class, then by the time i finish i'll be unable to do anything.
it seems like time is racing by and if i start acting now.. i'll be able to save .. something. i don't know what but if i don't start finding out right now it may never happen.
it seems like time is racing by but what if it's really not? the soul is immortal and will progress through all the worlds of God, growing infinitely closer and yet infinitely far away. physical life is important. the womb of the soul, yet to be born into the next world. i've only got eighty years of gestation left. maybe i have only months. this is nonsensical.
it seems like time is racing by and if i don't start acting now.. if i keep learning and writing papers and attending class, then by the time i finish i'll be unable to do everything.
i am finite.
maybe that is my new mantra for the pain.
gah, reading this makes me ill.
i still feel a pair of green-apple-candy roller skates would help.
why?
. . .
that is all.
posted by emily oi! at 11:22:00 PM
0 comments
last april, i wrote this in an email to dan:
sometimes, dan. sometimes, i get a very strong premonition, nono. i get this feeling that i'm doing something very, very wrong. that there is an important task at hand that i am neglecting because i don't know what it is, or because i'm being made to do something else. that's when i get antsy, i think. and that is what manifests itself in strong declarations of my non-college intent.
would you think less of me if i didn't go?
would i?
it seems like time is racing by and if i don't start acting now.. if i keep learning and writing papers and attending class, then by the time i finish i'll be unable to do anything.
i know these are things i've said before, but i just keep thinking them.
maybe if i say them again, they'll be out.
it seems like time is racing by and if i don't start acting now.. if i keep learning and writing papers and attending class, then by the time i finish i'll be unable to do anything.
it seems like time is racing by and if i start acting now.. i'll be able to save .. something. i don't know what but if i don't start finding out right now it may never happen.
it seems like time is racing by but what if it's really not? the soul is immortal and will progress through all the worlds of God, growing infinitely closer and yet infinitely far away. physical life is important. the womb of the soul, yet to be born into the next world. i've only got eighty years of gestation left. maybe i have only months. this is nonsensical.
it seems like time is racing by and if i don't start acting now.. if i keep learning and writing papers and attending class, then by the time i finish i'll be unable to do everything.
i am finite.
maybe that is my new mantra for the pain.
gah, reading this makes me ill.
i still feel a pair of green-apple-candy roller skates would help.
why?
. . .
that is all.
posted by emily oi! at 11:22:00 PM
0 comments
