Girl Anachronism

2008-08-06T10:11:00.002-05:00

misfitted

last night i worked at outpost's concession stand at a local free music festival in riverwest. this month's musical performer was a local blues band called "the misfits", not to be confused with the internationally-known punk rockers.

all evening, droves of hopeful crusties and punks arrived, only to leave again, confused and disappointed.

2008-06-26T12:14:00.001-05:00

only one of each pair of colored socks returned from its journey through the wash. i suspect foul play.

2008-06-16T10:25:00.004-05:00

today i made the coffee much too strong, but am drinking it resolutely.

i added the remains of the vegan whipped kreme from saturday's grill-out, but it's not really helping, just making me drink faster. when you give something up, it is better to let it go completely, instead of hanging onto semblances of it. black coffee is better than coffee with soymilk, fruit is better than vegan jello, and when you cleanse yourself of earthly things, it's really all got to go. detachment implies attachment, right?*

today marks the beginning of my third week as food ambassador at outpost, until the end of which i swore i would not pass judgment on whether or not i enjoy the position/will stay on. i am dangerously ambivalent on the subject. i sort of dread going to work, but i cannot tell if it is me, the nature of the work, of the combination of the two.

if anyone needs an interpreter/printmaker/seamstress, you do not need to knock down my door, it is unlocked.

*i hope this isn't an inappropriate reference, but yesterday i got stuck on the first page of the Iqan, and it was bound to come out somehow.

2008-02-19T19:52:00.003-06:00

my heart's an autoclave

today, i nearly slipped twice on the ice in front of my house. the ice that is my fault for not having dealt with it after the icy rain. aw geez.

i voted tonight.

last week i lost the following things on separate occasions:
keys
cell phone
wallet
binder with all class work/notes/etc.

i recovered each in turn, except for the binder. it is making my life... difficult.

2008-01-27T12:39:00.000-06:00

flavored coffees will always, invariably remind me of my mother.

i am currently kicking off my second round of classes for the semester, and could possibly be kicking myself quite soon for giving myself such a ridiculous semester. sixteen credits artfully arranged to allow me only to open at work during the week (that is, arrive at the outpost at 6:45), if that.

...

the rolling exhibition is thousands of photographs taken in 15 different countries by film student kevin connolly, traveling by skateboard. the photos are all of people staring at him, because he is legless. he talks a little on the website (and more in this article) about they way in which different culturally shared experiences influenced people's perception of him, and their reaction to his physical difference. a highly recommended read/look.

2007-10-29T17:38:00.000-05:00

like living in a pre-industrialized land

i woke up early this morning, but still late for work. i noted at the time that i could not find my belt, but it seemed insignificant compared to my tardiness. it took me until nearly three in the afternoon to finally put an end to the slippage.

that solution was suspenders. i've never trod on the cuffs of my pants so little!

this whole day has been characterized by lethargy and unmotivation. "day-lazy" is what liza hamilton would call it. there's time for east of eden and the new york times at night, after a full day's work, but at one in the afternoon? morally reprehensible.

2007-10-15T20:30:00.000-05:00

metablogging

i have been thinking about blogging for some time, wanting to return to the type-written page. but after such a long, unintended absence, it seems like i should return with something really big and impressive to talk about.

fortunately, nothing in my life is dramatic enough to preface with "OMG!!@".

i am enjoying the seasonal fruits of the fall, and looking forward to steamy concoctions of root vegetables and gourds.

tonight, riding home from alverno after my sculpture class, a car honked at me to move over when i had the right of way. what upsets me is not the honking, but that i moved over instead of standing my ground. if only cars weren't so capable of smearing me into a thin paste.

what joey and i originally thought to be a ghost in our flat turned out to be a mouse. kind of a sweet little thing, actually. we chased him into the front porch the other night and closed him in. later that evening, as joey was turning off the lights, he saw the mousie sitting in front of the door like a dog waiting to be let in. joey, kindhearted as he is, opened the door and let him back in.

i hope this has been mundane enough to encourage future, similarly mundane blogging.

for those interested, a ten-minute video of my wedding can be viewed on youtube.

2007-05-01T15:00:00.000-05:00

springtime

april showers bring may flowers. and you know what that means, don't you? more shots of MUTANT DANDELIONS!! enjoy at your own risk.

also, there remain three weeks (plus change) until my marriage in may. i'm planning to have an intuitive ceremony. (ha ha).

2007-04-29T20:34:00.000-05:00

taking back saturday

yesterday was the last of my semester-long, every-other-saturday-for-four-hours figure drawing class. i have never had so many stressed-out friday nights in my life. good riddance. at least now i don't have to giggle every time i see a naked person. although i still might.

2007-04-23T22:35:00.000-05:00

neither of us could sleep, so we sat up on the couch singing two-part harmonies.

2007-03-24T17:36:00.000-05:00

sign of spring

today, as i rode home from work through sijan field, i saw a coat hanging high on a chain link fence, and a pair of pink mittens at the base of a bubbler.

the morning's fog had long cleared, and everything smelled of mud and grass and wet leaves.

looking at the abandoned articles, i imagined their bearers taking one deep breath and deciding that winter would never come again. in my mind, they joyously cast their hats and scarves into the gusting spring winds, flying away to tangle anonymously in the branches of a tree, or to scuttle across pavement and gather at the bottom of the stone steps of some great imposing building.

this chaff rises in a great cloud above the city as its inhabitants leap into the air, shedding their rough, fibrous winter skin. they are left soft, and brown and pink, and falling back the ground, encased only in the bran of vulnerability, with the germ of hope and new beginnings stirring deep inside.

2007-03-22T19:52:00.000-05:00

reach for the stars, starch for the rears.

in the course of loading the dishwasher, i knocked an open box of cornstarch onto the ground, but mostly onto my (black) jeans and (black) stockings.

the cornstarch had earlier gone into vegan french toast (or "fronch toast") which was delightful, but i'm not sure it was worth the sullying of a perfectly good ensemble. i had planned to wear it bowling tonight, but if i recall correctly there are blacklights at this particular alley, which would reveal to the world the reach of my elbows.

this thursday will mark my third attempt at bowling in the past two months. every time i get a little better at the coordination of my many limbs, and at overall form and finesse, but i can't seem to get my score to break sixty. tonight is the night.

for our first wedding anniversary, joey and i plan to get each other personalized bowling balls. mine will look like a giant pearl. i've really missed blogging.

2007-03-09T12:33:00.000-06:00

lessons learned

preparing food always helps me discover new things about myself.

yesterday, for example, i was squeezing lemons for lemonade and i learned that i have a small cut on my thumb.

(this is how i ease myself back into blogging. hello, world.)

2007-01-28T21:36:00.000-06:00

it is time for my glorious return to blogging!

maybe later.

2006-11-15T20:37:00.000-06:00

some days, i wish i were a smoker, just so i would have something to do on the bus stop.

2006-11-04T14:40:00.001-06:00

i'm twenty-one! omg!

if you would like a copy of "swanky italian birthday (XXI)" delivered to you, let me know. let's have strange celebrations!

2006-11-04T14:40:00.000-06:00

i'm twenty-one! omg!

2006-10-30T19:12:00.000-06:00

now you've really made me angry!

ok, no more fooling. i am going to emerge from this week caught-up, academically. this will include:

-2 art history essays to write, one to type
-1 psych paper re-write
-1 1/2 psych chapters/review for assessment
-1 soc chapter
-1 ancient art display thingy

and on friday, i turn twenty-one! wha-what?! my back hurt when i got up this morning.

2006-10-27T13:33:00.000-05:00

much like a yellow banana with brown spots, i am at the peak of ripeness.
(time to shower.)

2006-10-26T18:52:00.001-05:00

"...although pilgrims upon earth we should travel the road of the heavenly kingdom..."
- 'Abdu'l-Baha

i have never, ever, thought of myself as a pilgrim upon earth. i am digesting this.

2006-10-19T18:19:00.000-05:00

buzzing, popping and jazzed

the best aspect of having a no-coffee-on-weekdays rule is the delight of infringing and partaking. i've had such a productive day (for which illicit coffee is only partly responsible) and it feels good, especially after so many lousy, wasteful ones. it feels good to be smiling again.

cats keep trying to intrude on my life. between facebook "my cat needs a home" pleas and crazy ladies who call me on the phone at work (needing me to take them to have their cat euthanized? um...), i've been seriouly trying to decipher this coded message. what could it be?

let it be known that i am safely back from the brink, no longer in danger of quitting school to do something stupid and rash, like pursuing a career as an independent artist. phew, that was close.

i need dinner, i've got the jitters.

2006-10-18T10:10:00.000-05:00

a fulfilling experience

i just returned from forwardental, for the second of three visits. the first visit was my first dental exam in more than three years. whoops. visit two was to fill my first ever two cavities, for which my anticipatory anxiety was overwhelming. it turned out not to be that bad, and while i lament the interference (why can't fillings be pretty?), i have to admit that my dental aesthetic wasn't that great to begin with.

my next visit, *gulp*, is to get all four of my wisdom teeth "extracted". oooooh man. i don't even want to think about it.

...

i've been finding all kinds of sweet, sweet, deals lately. at garage sale down the block, i scored a deck to deck recorder, yards and yards of soft upholstery fabric and an awesome window frame (which has a purpose, trust me) for under twenty dollars, and at a silent auction at yesterday's art major mid-semester assessment, for five dollars i won a polaroid camera, some photo oils and a bag of reeaaallly old pens and nibs. score!

more work, of course, to be done. more procrastination. some days i feel dangerously close to quitting.

2006-10-09T19:04:00.000-05:00

i am not a slave to the shave!

ladies, put down your razors! let us shave no more!

that... is all.

2006-10-04T18:59:00.000-05:00

today, a classmate told me that my eyes light up when i talk about you.
i miss you so much, and i can't wait until we can be together again.
(central america)

2006-10-02T22:05:00.000-05:00

i hope that i am still alive next year

let the procrastination begin! first "big thing" of the semester is due tomorrow.. and of course i only started a few hours ago. and of course, i can make time to post.

ethnocultural assessment and emmigration. i want to give some props to Johann Friedrick Stoetzer, who had so many babies, of whom i am the third child of the first child of the fourth child of the sixth child of his. he had eight babies with his first wife, and six or something with the next one. holy moly. ho-ly moly. that is super-electric.

last night's waffle night was fabulous. plain, banana, blueberry and chocolate chip waffles abounded. lethargy ensued. everybody get ready for next week!

ok, that's enough. please be careful with me. i'm sensitive, and i'd like to stay that way.

2006-09-26T22:16:00.001-05:00

aaaaaaaand i'm sick.

this is no good. i'm all kinds of swamped and too tired to do anything but go to class and go to work and come home again.

and i think thirty pounds of recyclables went out with yesterday's trash.

and who knew college would be this rough? and who knew it would be so hard to get along with people? and since when did being meek and pleasant become the only way to make friends?

and since when do i drink tomato juice? blrrhg.

emily joy stetzer, these are your lymph nodes.
emily joy stetzer, this is your life.

2006-09-24T17:29:00.000-05:00

an astronaut could have seen the hunger in my eyes from outer space
(or so say the mountain goats)

what a strange beginning to the year it has been, working so hard but not really going anywhere, yet. wearing myself down treading water. the tireder and busier i get, the more lax my nutritional habits become, which is a tricky thing for a budding vegan to toy with.

daybeforeyesterday was joseph's one-year straight-edge anniversary. we celebrated with mohawkery, punk rockery, forty ounces of san faustino and ghostbusters.

when you spend all night in the company of ghosts,
you always wake up alone. mountain goats, again. a few days ago i got get lonely and the cloud room album in the mail. oh, delicious delicious. as joseph says, everything i like sounds like something i would listen to. (and everything i draw looks exactly like i drew it.) quick, get behind yourself!

tomorrow is eight months until i get married. just in case you were wondering.

2006-09-13T21:55:00.000-05:00

can my mama go dog faced in the banana patch?

let's begin with the ABC's. school is going well.. i spent this week coasting on work i haven't really yet done, which is a disconcerting feeling. on monday i said something not really based in empirical reality in my sociology class and totally got called out on it. i made up for it today by being really snootily critical of devah page's study.

i am way behind on my drawing still-life. i'm going to school early to work on it, which is lame but kind of nice. i like to bring music and sing while i draw. sing and whistle.

i tagged one of my flickr photos with "facebook" and it's been viewed about a hundred times. what?

today in the commons, i sat next to a girl whose name turned out to be "sarah joy". i wonder how many firstname joys there are at alverno.

2006-09-09T13:20:00.000-05:00

a women's college may not be for you. especially if you are a guy.

college so far this semester has been good, but not great. dirty laundry is piling up in my room, little drifts of dirty socks and sweaty shirts that accumulate in the corners. i keep forgetting where i have put my text books, and i especially don't know where the key to my bike lock is every morning when i need to leave. once i sort out this pesky organization thing, greatness will hopefully be more accessible for the handicapped.

i'm discovering that i made more friends last year, and last summer, than i realized. brandie and randi, you are no longer alone. a-ha, a-ha.

pasta night is tomorrow night, six thirty. i look forward to seeing you.

2006-08-27T17:08:00.000-05:00

hand-painted

be careful not to sneeze as you sweep up the fine powder into which you have ground me.

just in case the word's not out enough: pasta night tonight at my haus. 6:30-9:30. everyone and their mama are invited.

2006-08-16T10:27:00.000-05:00

no, i'm not pregnant

fresh new girl anachronism antics. opinions?

thanks to danno for his elbow-grease, once again.

ps, for two days i was drinking decaffienated coffee and didn't even realize it. ugh.

2006-08-06T11:40:00.000-05:00

ideas that appeal to romantics, hopeless and otherwise

somebody has purchased a goat in my honor. no, really.

i am wearing a pre-engagement ring. in a few days, after a few final yeses, and with one quater-turn it will be transformed into an engagement band. nine months and one more quater-turn, inshallah, and it will be a wedding ring. bada-bing, bada-boom. reduce, reuse, recycle.

in case you aren't in on all this yet, i am engaged to this fellow.

at last, i return to work tomorrow afternoon. goodness, i've been gone a long time. i am way sick of daytime tv.

2006-07-29T14:45:00.000-05:00

there is very little as satisfying as twisting the afternoon away on a well-floured floor.

(a mixture of buckwheat, rye and spelt, for the record.)

2006-07-28T08:48:00.000-05:00

blogging is my beach house

good news: got my job back! i appealed to my insider at the union, hung around the house for two days watching day-time tv and eating chocolate chip cookies and waiting for him to call me back. i finally heard yesterday afternoon that my death-sentence termination had been commuted to a "final warning", which i will officially receive today, and in a week i will be magically reinstated in the schedule.

suddenly, all those union dues subtracted from my paycheck over the course of the year don't seem so outrageous.

haircut today.

2006-07-23T10:57:00.000-05:00

dear friends

tonight is pasta night at my house. come and eat pasta.

yes, you too.

starts around six. if you need directions, call. if you need a number, leave a comment.

2006-07-22T16:07:00.000-05:00

self-(de)termination

today, as my father was painting the exterior of our home, rain began to fall fiercely.

today, when i came into work at the OP, i was directed to the office of the store manager. there he explained to me that i had missed five scheduled days of work. that i had requested off until the fourteenth but did not return until the nineteenth, and that in so doing i had terminated my own employment.

as inevitably (and irritably) happens to me with any confrontation or displeasurable discourse with an authority figure, true or perceived, i started to cry a little. mr. manager said something to the effect of, "now, don't get teary." i would have liked to reply, "you'll forgive me, mr. manager, if my display of distress causes you discomfort, but i am quite powerless at this time to divert it into any other, more culturally acceptable, channel."

what i actually offered up was this grammatical gem: "if i could not be crying right now, i would." accompanied by appropriately exaggerated hand gestures, for which i am notorious when excited or upset.

anyways, the fight is not over, indeed, it has barely begun. monday morning i'll contact my union representative to contest my termination, and we'll all get together and talk about it civilly, and by then i will be able to eloquently expound upon the circumstances which caused me to miss my five scheduled days, and without getting that tightness in my chest or shooting pains in my head when i clench my teeth.

a curious occurrence, which has actually been somewhat comforting, is a talk given by Abdu'l-Baha that i randomly opened up to on the bus home from louhelen (where i was when i was scandalously missing my five scheduled days of work).

If we suffer it is the outcome of material things, and all the trials and troubles come from this world of illusion.

For instance, a merchant may lose his trade and depression ensues. A workman is dismissed and starvation stares him in the face. A farmer has a bad harvest, anxiety fills his mind. A man builds a house which is burnt to the ground and he is straightway homeless, ruined, and in despair.

All these examples are to show you that the trials which beset our every step, all our sorrow, pain, shame and grief, are born in the world of matter; whereas the spiritual Kingdom never causes sadness. A man living with his thoughts in this Kingdom knows perpetual joy. The ills all flesh is heir to do not pass him by, but they only touch the surface of his life, the depths are calm and serene.

(Abdu'l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 109)

(the whole talk may be found here. it's pretty succinct.)

[today's soundtrack]

2006-07-13T12:53:00.000-05:00

a brief lull between camp counselloring, i thought i might drop a line to let people know that i've left. and that i'll be back, in a week.

side note: i love crossword puzzles. sleep deprivation makes me kind of stupid.

miss you all.

2006-07-03T22:52:00.000-05:00

it's kind of strange. i've spent all day with people, but i can't bear to go to bed because i'm so looooonely. that's absurd.

today i called someone and asked them to return a stolen shopping cart. they had stolen no shopping cart. i was (and am) abashed.

dear world,

let up a little, will you?

regards,

emily joy

2006-07-02T10:00:00.000-05:00

banana-rama

last week, i bought some banana-themed earrings.

today, i realized that i don't own any yellow clothing. at all. a couple of orangey comedy sportz shirts, and this skirt that i'm wearing with a yellow paint stain on it (from the mural in the weight room at rufus king. oh, how i tried to forget that project). not a sweater or skirt or pair of socks to be found in coordinating hues.

not that it really matters, but it kind of shocked me. no yellow? really?

...

i love getting spam emails with really poetic subject lines. some that i particularly like:

"habitable belief"
"linear rpm"
"order status, owl-winged"
"your future, notary public"

...

i have an abysmally long to-do list for this morning, but i console myself in knowing that some of those tasks are things like "do the whirlwind".

...

february april said
"don't be fooled by that summer again."
february april said
"that half of the year, well we'll never be friends."

-feist, "gatekeeper"

2006-07-02T08:02:00.000-05:00

last night was crrrrrappy. today will be better.

2006-06-29T22:05:00.000-05:00

i know there's no context, but this exciting development has made me really, really, well, excited.

love,

mmm-j

ps, "BT" stands for "buff titanium", the dullest, most wonderful color ever sold in a tube.

2006-06-27T13:38:00.000-05:00

i have some really exciting cauldrons of art bubbling on my fire, and i'm really excited. a few weeks ago, i started an abortive portrait that has really left a sour taste in my mouth.

a sneaky little thumbnail, anyone?

yesterday, i spontaneously joined a local bicycle gang of which coffee is the cynosure. i was the only one present who hadn't actually arrived on a bicycle. stupid feet, carrying me everywhere.

also, i'll have to remember that self-deprication isn't cool, and to cut it out. also, in ten months and a week, i'd like to be married, if possible.

love, emjay

2006-06-13T21:17:00.000-05:00

happy trauma

today was kind of a day in limbo. this whole weekend, a little good, a little strange, a little stretched.

just now, i had an awful ecounter with my local neighborhood walgreens. something about that store just brings me down, down, down. it's like an awkward encounter with a single pubic hair on a public toilet seat, brevity of contact is of utmost importance.

what a gross analogy. my apologies.

anyways, i am about to embark on some exciting baking. (i'll make sure to wash my hands, especially after this talk of public bathrooms and walgreens.) have any of my dear readers ever baked with rice flour as a wheat flour substitute? i'm about to, and i hope to be pleasantly surprised by the results.

after my eight hours of workin' at "how may i help you?" central, i went to a 401(k) meeting in outpost's community room, and let me say that i have never been so excited to start saving for retirement. i won't be eligible to begin until i'm twenty-one (in five months! whoa!), but oh man, savings is so cool. i want to make long-term graphs of my income, savings, and earnings. just let me think where i put my graph-paper and colored pencils. i won't forget to label the units, i never do.

youth meeting with the lsa on thursday night! get hype for consultation!

2006-06-05T14:33:00.000-05:00

i'm so glad

ok, hold onto your decency! i'm about to discuss menstruation!

this week, after much deliberation, i purchased reusable/washable cotton menstrual pads.

now before you remark how gross you think it is, i would like you to imagine all the disposable pads a woman uses in a month (maybe 15), a year (think 180), or during the thirty-five-or-so menstruating years of her life (around 6,300), think of all those chemically-treated, plastic-backed, dirty pads filling a landfill, or washing up on your local beach. (i frankly wouldnt be surprised to witness such an event on the shores of lake michigan.) is that gross? you bet.

and i've come to see that it's also kind of irresponsible, ecologically speaking. i take a considerable care to bring my own bags to the grocery store, to recycle everything in site (to which all those who have walked down kinnickinnic with me can attest), and to reduce my consumption of fossil fuels by biking, busing, walking and car-pooling, and yet, because of this strange attitude our society takes toward menstruation (please don't talk about it, and don't let anyone know that it's going on, and oh, oh, let's dispose of the evidence of your uncleanliness as discreetly as possible.), i didn't even realize that i was doing anything so unabashedly discordant with my own personal philosophy.

but there is an alternative. so think about it. it took me a few months to get over the idea of having to *deal with* menstruation, but after observing the amount of waste created in my household each month by just two menstruating women, i'm convinced.

i'm curious to know what you think, ladies and fellas alike.

2006-05-30T14:15:00.000-05:00

makes me wanna holler, the way they do my life

today, a new low in post-spring semester sloth. i slept until almost eight, got up and ate breakfast, and then promptly fell asleep on a living room couch. upon waking two or so hours later, i got myself up, moved to another couch where the sun didn't shine so brightly on me, and went back to sleep. it was almost two o'clock before i dressed. it is days like today that assure me that my life is pretty much a complete waste of our earth's nutrients and resources and things.

what an existence.

in other news, no other news. there is a boxed-up airbrush crying to be liberated, and my banjo is looking somewhat neglected. i've had two offers this morning for delightful social activities (hot fudge and spelunking, respectively) but i had to turn each down so that i can stand at the crustomer service desk and make a buck, make a buck.

i feel lousy and worthless and found-out, but that's enough of that.

(but maybe there is hope)

2006-05-28T21:44:00.000-05:00

little bitty pretty one

today i left the following message on someone's voicemail:

"hey [ ], it's emily joy... (long pause) i'm starting to feel kind of resentful, so you should probably call me soon. later."

or something like that. coupled with a long, hot day of standing at crustomer service with achy feet and sweaty knees, and the umbrella that fell and broke the table as i was trying trying trying to leave, and the weird feeling that stole over me as i leaned against the bike racks that i didn't even want to talk about.

all those things mixed together, baked at three hundred and seventy five degrees for half an hour, yeilds the chocolatey dessert that no one really wants to eat because it's fallen in the middle.

boo-hoo, woe is me. summer sucks. i'd take december back in a heartbeat.

2006-05-24T21:11:00.000-05:00

it's not the heat, it's the humility

the heavens have opened, and there is nothing i can do to keep joseph dry.

2006-05-22T23:58:00.000-05:00

dear internet,

i'm thinking hiatus.

respectfully,

emily joy

2006-05-14T21:47:00.000-05:00

it's just hard to put all that energy into building a solid quality relationship, and then have someone come along and negate it. that is all i'm saying. it stings, and i'm doing my best not to arch my back and hiss.

2006-05-13T23:16:00.000-05:00

i almost, almost went to a hipster barbecue tonight.

a guy from work saw me walking home from target and invited me, and i was so sad and lonely and isolated feeling, mostly because i had tried to call allie, omar, dan, sam d. and liz w. and not really gotten to talk to any of them, that i said yes, even though i knew it would probably be really awkward and even painful, and then after forty minutes of chopping vegetables and waiting for a ride to show we got in the car and as we rode down kk i looked at the clock, eight forty, and thought it's much too late joseph will already be gone, and we passed the outpost and there he was standing by the bike rack talking with somebody and i asked,

would it be ok if i didn't go? could you just, let me out of the car?

oh, we can give you a ride home.

no, just let me out here. please.

and i got out of a car full of hipsters and sangria and quickly apologized in front of the cousins, and let them drive away before i sprinted up the hill hoping that joseph would still near enough for him to hear me if i shouted his name. and he was. and so we walked down kk and i told him about my stupid lonliness and watched the brew city zombie walk, which we didn't realize was an organized zombie event until we passed the bistro walking home and saw the flier in the window, and we got as far as about by collector's edge when i saw a porch with a really sweet looking glider on it and i looked pretty wistful, and probably also tired, and so we kicked it on the porch of a dark house, and glided and watched the zombies straggle and lurch up kinnickinnick, and we stayed there for a while, but left them a grapefruit as a token of our gratitude for their passive hospitality. a grapefruit with a note rubberbanded to it.

no conclusions tonight, just story.

2006-05-12T11:02:00.000-05:00

yesterday was

yesterday was my last day of classes of my first year of college. today, i slept in until eight o'clock, and am probably going to spend all day doing nothing. right after i fold laundry and bake this pita bread and run to the library, and have a serious talk with joey's ma. there are actually fourteen things on my to-do list today, and that's mostly for before 1:47.

speaking of to-do lists, how did i let someone else get to this before me? i obviously neglected to put it on my to-do list.

yesterday, i received this in the mail. does somebody know something that i don't?

also, i'm really excited for old friends coming back to town. it is a very, very good thing.

2006-05-11T07:52:00.000-05:00

a (now) open email to emily joy

all bets off? i hardly think so, its more like, we're holding our chips for the next spin of the roulette wheel, and man those bearing are buttery smooth because it seems like its going to be spinning for some time now. its just one big love-suspense-thriller, and we're everyones favorite, latest and greatest action stars. the intensity if gonna be drawn out, but our number will come up. but i dont want you going out like david blane, you have to come up for air eventually, and go for the record some other time.

...

i really, really like joseph.

2006-05-10T21:31:00.000-05:00

all bets are off

looks like i built up the hype for nothing.. i hope the un-informed readership forgives me. those out of the loop (see: soon) may receive an explanatory note by post.

i have one art critique and two art external assessments (L2 and L3) left between me and the end of the semester. tonight, when i left the 'post at half past eight, there was a softball game going on in the park across the street, and i stopped and watched. because i had time. the umpire was hilarious.

2006-05-06T22:01:00.000-05:00

my horoscope today was pretty reassuring.

still not telling.

2006-05-05T23:31:00.000-05:00

oh, it's big

a couple of big things in the works. i'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, but for real this time.

but that's way paltry in comparison to my other news. it's so big. some of you know. most of you don't. but i'm not going to put it on the web until it's for certain. i just.. don't want to jinx it.

*hopefulness*

2006-05-03T08:06:00.000-05:00

a blind date with criteria

successful: tackled a really indimidating conversation with my parents
successful: woke up only twenty minutes late, after two mornings of seriously sleeping in
unsuccessful: had a borderline inappropriate dream about tom
unsuccessful: dropped a piece of toast that landed peanut butter side down
successful: scraped off the peanut butter and reused the toast

2006-04-23T21:53:00.000-05:00

i don't think i've ever received an email with so many errors, typographical and grammatical, as the one i received tonight. it's bordering on unintelligible, which is pretty great.

"ill talk to you when i next hear from you in not that long of a spent hours."

check.

2006-04-22T23:07:00.000-05:00

my peace, my peace

hanging out on the eaves
coat on my knees
arlo and his couple of keys
don't touch this moment, please.

2006-04-17T18:44:00.000-05:00

excuse me, sir. your heart is hanging out.

maybe it's the sunlight working its magic on my mood, but today has been a really truly lovely day. i sat out on the porch at mid-morning, drudging along in my psychology reading (i'm sorry piaget, but in a fight for admiration with a budding tulip tree, your formal operational stage is not that strong a contender. i'm just saying.)

joey and i hit up and split up an indian lunch at bombay sweets, and then discussed gender roles as i patched holes in a pair of pants, and he tooled around with bicycle billie.

some tea and cigarette smoke and a pwcjoe sighting later, we bid adieu and family dinner commenced. today was russ' turn to cook, and he is sweet but not very creative. six years as a vegetarian (and it is nearing six years!) has taught me to think outside the box... the box of imitation meat, that is. but it is a nice change of pace. and i won't front, it was pretty delicious chiqken.

i know i'm not being very concise, but today just has this beautiful aftertaste of rooibos and mint, whereas normally at seven thirty, i begin to grieve all the tasks that weren't honored with an X on the to-do list, engraved upon tablets of chrysolite. i only expect danny to get that refernce.. so no feeling bad, anyone. it's a baha'i thing.

ok, moving on. i got a tattoo. there's a picture up on flickr (the badge is located on the left side of your screen, below the linkies and things.), but more importantly, there's a story of three women from three different parts of the world and parts of my life, who struggled their whole lives to fight, in ways large and small, against the restrictions they inherited at birth, by virtue of having been born as girls.

one is tahirih, about whom her father lamented, "would that she had been born a boy, for he would have shed illumination upon my household, and would have succeeded me." when she embraced the nascent babi faith, a great tidal wave of men arose to knock her over and push her back, among whom were her father, her brothers and her husband. as she travelled and taught and attracted the hearts of multitudes in all the cities through which she passed, the most respected religious leaders came to talk to her, vowing to bring her back to her senses. tahirih totally schooled them, not only shaming them with her eloquence and knowledge of the qu'ran, but also by revealing their own base motives. and all this she did from behind a veil and behind a curtain.

another is my grandmother, helen kaeppner. the third child of five, she was intensely intelligent, but constantly given the message that she wasn't as worthy as her more beautiful (read: thinner) older sisters. as an adult, she stepped up to the plate and stood up for the underpriveledged in the community, leading grass-roots movements and butting heads with The Boys all the way. when the front door was closed to her, she went in through the service entrance, and if that didn't work, she'd pry the window sashes off with her fingernails and climb through. no obstacle represented a dead-end to her. she was tireless like that.

the last is niña blanquita, a woman who i came to know very well in my time in el salvador. she rose to a position of some prominence in the santa ana farmers cooperative, the only woman among a great deal of men, many of whom were none too eager to hear a woman give orders. but that's not even it yet. hold on. near the age of fifty, niña blanquita lost her vision. a few years later, she lost her hearing. and every morning she rose, and began the business of learning to exist in a world that she could not see or hear. making the morning coffee became a daunting task, and sweeping the leaves from the yard would leave her face covered in bruises from the countless times she would trip and fall flat on her face. but goddammit, she did it. and continues to do it, facing her physical limitations with a patience and resolve that was honestly inconceivable to me before having met her.

but i have no contact with these women, due to history, death, and geography, respectively. my tattoo is a physical symbol of the spiritual bond that unites us, my reminder to be brave, perseverant, and stalwart in championing the cause of justice, and to show that womanhood is my strength, not my weakness.

boo-yah, ooh-dang, and goodnight.

2006-04-14T18:00:00.000-05:00

leavin' town!

2006-04-13T09:39:00.000-05:00

just about everything that i've been doing lately has taken place in a fit of girlish exuberance.

last night i (exuberantly) removed the insulating cellophaney stuff from my bedroom windows, took out the storm pane and slept with the window open. in the thirty seconds that passed between when the storm window came out and the screen went in, a large black fly managed to sneak in, (was it perhaps, his window of opportunity?) and took up his post buzzing around my bedside lamp. i girlishly swatted at him with a paperback novel.

in that same fit (which astoundingly transcended the night-season), i scheduled a spring-hair appointment! i've been waffling for some time, get it cut or let it grow?, but this morning as i repeatedly had to pull my wet hair out of my cheerios, my resolve hardened, much as did the milk-sodden ends of my hair. eeeeewwww.

to do in a fit of girlish exuberance:
- mop
- bus it over to rufus king to take a last peek at the IB art exhibit
- watch billie go under the surgeon's knife and come out converted to a single speed
- study snorkle!

and, by the way, thank you, readers, for your feedback. it's pretty absurdly heart-warming.

2006-04-09T21:40:00.000-05:00

ok, now it's your turn.

ready to comment, readers?

top three reasons i should continue to maintain this blog... go!

(and no fear, girl anachronism isn't going anywhere. i'm just in a mood for feedback.)

2006-04-09T11:32:00.000-05:00

days that are done

this morning, all my socks and stockings matched up as i folded laundry. except the gray stocking that was mateless last time i ran a load.

i had the most stressful registration ever yesterday. after an almost full twenty-four hour delay of hold-lifting on the part of the registrar's office (a lesser-used word conniption describes the behaviors i was beginning to exhibit), and then some stressing over fitting other requirements around the handful of fall-only art classes, and then accidentally trying to register for classes taking place in the spring 2006 (instead of fall) semester, i finally have a workable schedule. i'll have to be at school every single day of the week (thank you one-sectioned friday art history class), but i'm a trooper.

friday, i spent allll day on the bus with brandar, riding hither and thither and visiting allie in the rufus king library as she set up her ib art exhibit. there was an awkward moment as i corrected mrs. roesch (wouldn't we have been alumnae, mrs. roesch? don't mess with me. i go to an all-girls school.) and had to explain to the librarian who exactly brandie was and what she was doing in the ib art exhibit.

i stayed up probably too late last night, mostly because i'm obstinate. my mom woke me up in the morning to tell me there is oatmeal. but when i roused myself, there was no one to tell my dreams to. the oatmeal was great.

2006-04-06T22:08:00.000-05:00

twenty points of engagement.

and i'm not engaging at any of them. my registration window opens tomorrow, but there's still a hold on my registration for an advisor meeting that already happened.

all of the spanish classes i need to take are spring-onlies.

i have to register sometime between travelling all over the city by bus and working. i really want to see allie's IB exhibit, but what if they don't let me in the school?
also, i only have two bus tickets left. except maybe there are two more in my winter coat pocket. i'll have to get on that.

but work tonight was so nice. sooo nice. and there were lost lara bars in the breakroom. mmm.

skipping rocks and singling out and arlo guthrie are my past, present and future, respectively.

2006-04-04T07:47:00.000-05:00

what an unmotivated day. i ought to leave for school in a quarter of an hour, but i'm still in my jim-jams, eating a banana and poking around the inter-web.

so, um, hello world. i'll be with you in a moment.

2006-04-02T20:49:00.000-05:00

my body is lurching from the forward spring

so, i had a sweet sweet sleep-over with my girl allie. we dolled up, stepped out decked-out with swanky water to the opening reception at the alverno gallery to see some haught and some mediocre student artwork. it was hot and there was lots of food to in cube-form.

i got out from work early today, but instead of using the extra time to set in on the last of a series of nagging papers, i took an hour-long nap (further confusing my body's sense of the time of day), and then, instead of setting in on that self-same paper, i spent another hour browsing through wvs'photostream on flickr. i myself seem to have misplaced my camera, so my own stream has been dulldulldull. boo hoo.

lighting is flashing and thunder is rumbling and oh, i just want to kick it and biff it.

2006-03-31T21:34:00.000-06:00

unapologetic

tomorrow, in honor of my first ever juried exhibit debut, i am going to go and buy a new vintage sweater. i will buy it unapologetically with the contents of a dusty christmas envelope i found on my stairs this morning.

edit: so i bought a really sweet sweater vest from luv unlimited, but it only cost six dollars. so i guess i didn't really need to be so ostentatiously unapologetic. i'm sorry.

2006-03-29T20:35:00.000-06:00

sweeter than sorghum

welcome to the new porkrinds! out with potting soil, in with girl anachronism. don't forget to update your links! (of course, some of you (i'm looking at you, soon.) haven't changed links since the cambiame days.)

some other sweet news to go with the sweet new digs:

my corn still life not only got accepted into the student art exhibit at alverno (which premiers this saturday, april first, at seven pm for any interest gallery-goers.), but it was also selected by faculty to be juried for the lakefront festival of the arts, along with twenty four other pieces from alverno and maybe one hundred and seventy five pieces from other area colleges. the chances of my corn making it into such a nose-in-the-air event are pretty slim, but, oh! to be juried! i'm all a-flutter. a-twitter. a-something.

yesterday i went on my first-ever game of "won't you join me?". according to randi, i am living a movie-star life. i pretty much agree.

here's to fresh starts and anachronistic practices!

2006-03-26T20:26:00.000-06:00

can you feel how close it is?

2006-03-23T00:32:00.000-06:00

a new year's present for soon

a site redesign is definitely in sight, so take a peek at this little preview.

that is the first, preliminary drawing, done maybe four hours ago (oh my!). it has become progressively more and more taut. i am way excited for this new layout in the new year. it has been a loooong time coming.

oh, and i forgot to enlist the help of my elbow-greaser, danny. danny, will you lend me your services? i promise it won't be nearly as involved as the potting soil fiasco.

(btw, "g is for girl" is the sketch title, not the site title, which is yet to be revealed! oooh. i'm exhausted. you can tell by how much i'm typing. i'll go back in the morning and correct spelling errors.)

oh, and let me add, before i forget:

so this is the new year
and i don't feel any different.

(actually i do. but who can resist holiday-appropriate death cab?)

2006-03-20T18:00:00.000-06:00

this last half hour of the fast, paired with a teeth-gnashing level head-ache and the smell of sweet potatoes in the oven, has been the longest yet.

happy naw-ruz, potting soil readers.

2006-03-19T09:55:00.000-06:00

ok, i know you're all sick of hearing my dreams, but this one is pretty out-there, and it wasn't even a falling-asleep-on-the-couch-after-breakfasting dream.

so, i was pregnant. waaay pregnant, with a huge nine-months belly. and i was standing on the back of a whale, in the ocean, getting spouted on.

yeah, so. the end.

2006-03-13T20:57:00.000-06:00

hey,

why don't you take another little piece of my heart

take it, and break it, and tear it all apart.

oh, itunes. how do you always anticipate these funks i get myself into?

so, i was doing some palette knife painting, and somehow got myself covered in cadmium red and phthalo blue. i'm being slowly poisoned by my own sloppiness. it is, if nothing else, a fitting way to go.

take another piece. take another piece.

2006-03-13T18:41:00.000-06:00

nature, don't dump on me!

in the past three days, i've been drizzled on, rained on, and hailed and wailed on more times than i care to recount, mostly while in transit on my two little feetsies.

and while i'm not a particular fan of drippy drops dribbling down my neck and smeary speckled glasses and bobby pins whipped and gusted out of my hair, they all herald glorious, glorious springtime.

one week of fasting left, and then glorious, glorious naw ruz! i could really use a fresh year, to go with my fresh new (out)look.

it felt so good to go back to school today. so good, that i spent all three hours of tom's drawing class drawing, instead of the normal forty/twenty ratio of work minutes to goof minutes. and these dried ears of corn that i ridiculously decided to include in my still life are turning out haught. what a sweet feeling of triumph!

2006-03-08T10:31:00.000-06:00

that was the worst

realizing i'm twenty minutes late for work, i rush out of my house and get stuck in a big muddy patch, wearing an expensive new skirt. a kind girl unsticks me and takes me to alverno, which in dream-geography lay between my house and the outpost.

at alverno, i read the clocks and see that i'm early for work, four hours early. i'm invited to see some sort of diabolical movie. soon i'm being chased through the sub-basements of alverno by a demon spirit that i myself called into being for some reason. i realize half-way through the exorcism that i'm again late for work, and that my scheduled shift is almost over. i excuse myself, promising to finish next week. i can't find any elevators, and i'm so tired and so slow.

making it to the parking lot, a group of students from rufus king offer me a ride in their tiny falling-apart jeep, parts of which have been replaced with cardboard. when the driver gets in, i'm shunted to the side, falling out, but restrained by a seatbelt. "let me out!" i yell, and he disengages the seat belt and the door flies open. only now, he's grinning maliciously and the car begins spinning in circles. i'm stuck to the inside of the open door by centrifical (or cetrifugal, or centropic, or whatever.) force. finally, he stops and i drop to the asphalt, and the dream ends.

the is only the latest in a series of twisted, tortuous dreams i've had that result from falling asleep on the couch after getting up to breakfast before the sun rises. this was definitely the last day for that.

2006-03-06T22:07:00.000-06:00

food, food, food, food.

ok, so now that that's out of the way (i had a brief moment of fear that all my posts during the fast would be food-centric) let's get down to business.

this week is (despite what yesterday's blizzard would suggest) spring break for alverno students. and i'm bored bored bored. today i was in my jim-jams until two in the afternoon. i didn't leave the house until half past five (for unity in motion). i finally got around to watching walk the line (i present that as if it were an accomplishment, rather than one of the dirty rotten time-wasters of my slothful morning).

also, yesterday i watched the oscars for maybe the first time ever. it was pretty, um, indiffernce-inducing. maybe if i had seen more than one of the films nominated? p'raps.

and i'd like to take a moment to shout out to my birthday girl, brandie. i think she might be nineteen tomorrow. she makes deciding where to sit at lunch ninety percent less anxiety-inducing.

*half heart*

2006-03-04T15:36:00.000-06:00

so far, no food.

so, i thought i was in control of this fasting business. staying up late and waking up early. yesterday i sustained myself in a post-sunset social situation for an extra three hours on a cup of tea and a banana.

but then today, my body put it's foot down, and i am way sick with some sort of throat-illness. i wish i could be more energized for bill t. tonight, but i suspect that i will be lousy company.

boo hoo, i sit around all day reading the hipster handbook and watching cooking shows on tv. why is food the only thing on tv during the fast? it's absurd.

2006-03-01T18:46:00.000-06:00

we are leaving in a second for feast,

but let me just say that i am so tired
thinking about how tired i will be during the fast.

2006-02-26T08:25:00.000-06:00

every time a bell rings, a hamburger gets its wings.
(da me el coraje y la fe, y la verdad cantare!)

hellooooo, ayyam-i-ha!

yesterday's party was a beautiful ushering-in of my favorite baha'i holiday. there are days that have a lot more spiritual significance, but ayyam-i-ha is just so... fun. and well-filling.

i'm so filled with holiday joy, that i feel the urge to give everyone great big hugs, even strangers. especially strangers. this, i understand, would be totally inappropriate, but perhaps you'll understand the impulse. i feel bad for any negativity that chances to cross my path today, because i will obliterate it with love and happiness! i am so empowered! RAR!

2006-02-25T11:32:00.000-06:00

rollinrollinrollinrollin

my mom was coming in the back door, and decided she needed to break up the ice on our walkway, so she grabbed the nearest plausible tool: a broom.

and yes, using the bristle-end.

*heartswell*

2006-02-23T18:46:00.000-06:00

reeeee-minder

so, in case any of you have forgotten, this saturday at five (unlike previously posted at six) there's totally going to be an ayyam-i-ha shindig at my house. another add-on to the last post is that you can bring a wrapped white elephant gift to put in the pile for exchange later in the evening.

questions go in the comment pot!

also, i had a huge victory in my art class yesterday. i told our drawing teacher that it really bothered me that he didn't know any of our names and... he learned them! ha cha cha! dealing with problems head-on sure beats that "talk about it to everyone but the one who is responsible" business. oh man. oooh man. that sure wasn't jiving with my soul. i really could have lived without him knowing my name, if i had to, but i could not live with myself complaining about it. you know? and now, after how *easy* it was to approach him and change the thing that bothered me, i'm really pretty ashamed at how much i whined.

so i offer formal apologies to the following: Baha'u'llah, who asked me to magnify not the faults of others; brandie and randi, who had to hear me talk about it every other day in the commons, and in nancy's class too; tom hovorka, who is in many respects a pretty great teacher, and who cannot be held responsible for things i do not tell him.

and my brother came in a minute ago, and told me how happy he is, that he finally gets channel ten in on his tv. now he can watch "this old house" followed, he tells me, by "ask this old house". i think the reason he likes shows about houses being built and restored and things is that it's totally a reflection of how his brain works. i think that in his mind, he tears up problems like they were rotten floorboards, looks at the structure underneath them, and lays down a solution, nailing and sanding and varnishing until it glistens and shines, and then he slides across it with his socks on. my heart is swelling with love. what is this, three posts in one week about how great my brother is? want to know why? because he is.

i am going to go watch public broadcast tv right now.

emily joy, out!!

2006-02-17T22:12:00.000-06:00

my livejournal breathes for me now

my day spiralled rapidly downward from a sweet morning euphoria.

stopped only by a mere technicality of transportation, i almost sped off into the night tonight. i'm almost afraid of how appealing the idea became, once i spoke it.

there's this sort of emo lonliness that i can't even talk about, that i carry around in my purse, in with my checkbook and expired bus transfers and frequent fruit card. it brushes up against my knuckles when i dig out my library card, and i see its pale underside flash and disappear as it burrows underneath the upturned earth of loose change and supermarket receipts.

ah, the lonliness newt. how much i missed you. i imagine him cocking his tiny purpley head and reminding me, silently, that no one really wants to hear this.

2006-02-17T18:18:00.000-06:00

a wafer of snow or a single frozen driplet of water

today, i worked for four-fifths of my shift at the toasted-posted, when jpjesse asked me if i wanted to leave early.

so i came home and "watched the news."

(in my home, watching the news is pretty much synonymous with taking a nap. i always watch the news with my eyes closed and my glasses on.)

my brains need to be eaten.

2006-02-16T23:00:00.000-06:00

love to spend the night with peggy day

hey, you guys!

next saturday, the 25th of february, my family is totally throwing an ayyam-i-ha party at my house. it starts at six pm, approggzimately, and you're totally welcome and encouraged to come.

drop a line if you've got a comment or a beef.

...

also, my brother did another randomly really nice thing for me. we both got the eleven o'clock pizza jones, and decided to throw a freezer-pie in the oven. he added some sort of meat-topping to his half, and when it came out, he cut my half into pieces first, and then did his half, so as not to contaminate the vegetarian side.

is that great, or is that great?

2006-02-16T08:58:00.000-06:00

independent work day

so, due to the suspected impending blizzard and transportational havoc that would supposedly be wrought upon milwaukee county, my design class this morning was declared an independent work day.

so now i'm ready, palette knife in hand, to get down to business. that palette knife, i should note, isn't actually related to the business i'll be getting down to. i, uh, just used it to reach an itch on my back. don't tell, ok?

i've got a psychology assessment to review for (easy peasy) and some sketches to knock out for the next design assignment, which is human-face and color-related. depending on how efficient i am, i might even get to that fifty-color scale, but i don't mind letting that sit until tomorrow.

this morning, i sat in the living room, surrounded by that sweet reflected-snow-light, listening to the heartbeat of my house. i wish every morning could smell as nice as today.

update: what crazy weather! first snow, then rain, and now hail and lightning! good call on the i.w.d., nancy lamers!

2006-02-13T22:23:00.000-06:00

one hundred things you should know about pirates

i had a really upagaindownagain day. this morning, i watched the first ten minutes of a video i had downloaded on pilgrimage and it totally made me cry. i didn't even feel absurd.

classes were pretty ok. i did something mildly gross with a hardboiled egg, and i'm just happy that brandie is cool enough to let me be stupid and disgusting. i can't get over how happy she makes me. in drawing we finally got to use *color* and it was very liberating, even though my piece turned out borderline infantile.

so i got home and watched some depressing oprah and ate a million peanut butter cups and was feeling itchy and prickly and mean, when my brother randomly invited me out on a dinner date. we hit up the 'dob, and all the way there and back we listened to ben folds, and sang along on all the falsetto doot dooo's. we also discussed whether he says that someone is dressed up "like the cure" or "like the curb." i'm pretty certain it's the former, whereas russ has his doubts. i pretty much love him a lot.

also, let me just put it out there that i love omar a lot and really value his continued existance. guns and gun violence is not cool. wtf, minneapolis.

so, i also went out for tea with delijoe, and received a cucumber sandwich, cut into a heart. it's the gift that keeps on giving, nutritionally speaking.

now i've got just a little polishing to do on my ducks and artichokes piece, and then off to beddy for some smooth sailing.

2006-02-11T11:09:00.000-06:00

snow falls outside
and it looks so beautiful
that it makes me make
that sound
that sounds
like something deep inside me
is bursting.

2006-02-10T22:17:00.000-06:00

i rise early like over-yeasted bread

so, working grocery was pretty lame. at the outpost we have a really inefficient system for restocking the comestibles. to recover from that experience, i am listening to odetta with all the lights turned off. one grain of sand, one drop of water, one freezer burrito.

in other news, rufus king vs. pius xi tomorrow at noon. i will be there. would you sit next to me?

love,

emily joy

ps - my 'rents are gone, and it's time to party. i will be studying small group behavior. *wink wink* um, just kidding.

2006-02-10T14:55:00.000-06:00

go tell it on the mountain

i am really hype about this painting i just finished. i am less hype about all the work, artwork and otherwise, left to do.

today for the first time ever i will be working grocery, stocking shelves at the outpost. i hope it's not as lame as i've heard tell.

also, today i totally presented for a compartive religions video. i was stressing like it was going out of style (who said that to me recently? amanda?), but it came out well and i think i was moderately eloquent. to my salvadoran friends, especially laurita-mita, i really wanted to start off the interview with. "que es la fe baha'i?" just like in radio baha'i.

sooo, yeah. check check. pretty much.

2006-02-09T22:00:00.000-06:00

my big break

last night, i got to make the closing announcement at the outpost. my hand shook a little bit as i dialed #30 from the phone on register one.

attention passengers of outpost airlines. we are now entering our final descent. the local time is nine o'clock. please ensure your carts are in their full and upright positions as you make your final selections and proceed to checkout.

it was pretty sweet. james the cafe manager called the front-end office and told my manager that i had neglected to point out the exits. whoops.

2006-01-30T22:03:00.000-06:00

shadow one. shadow two. shadow three.
this overlapping entourage
converging on these wayward feet.

2006-01-30T18:46:00.000-06:00

all used-up

all of a sudden, coming home from unity in motion, i got whomped by a tidal wave of exhaustion.

the exhaustion may be correlated with the fact that i just ate second dinner, two hours after first dinner. what am i, a hobbit? also, my mom is a pretty sweet cook, but i am sick of hearing the word bulgar.

i have some booking it to do, and book it i will. tomorrow i school until 3, and then work 4 until close at the roasty-posty. that is kind of daunting. tonight i have to have to finish that collage. even if it kills me and it doesn't cause magical wells of englightenment to spring forth in the viewer, it will definitely be done.

but oh, the gravitational pull of my bed is phenomenal. someone call nasa.

"houston, i'm in my jammies."

2006-01-29T20:08:00.000-06:00

one of my secret, unexplored fears is that one day, i will be bringing a mountain of carts in from the corral at my darling outpost, and the automatic door won't open. i see it in my mind, realizing the door isn't opening, pulling back suddenly on the last cart, and all the rest going charging ahead into and in through the glass door.

i wonder if it will ever actually happen. it would definitely cause more ruckus than the time a shelf full of salsa collapsed on the eight street cap. i wonder if i would be fired. i'll have to consult the union handbook to see if that is just cause or no. if i did, by some miracle, retain my job, i don't know if i'd ever be able to corral carts again. at least, not with my head up.

another thing i fear is lots of people from work reading my blog, but being secretly disappointed in not being mentioned. "hey emily joy!" nathan c. whitcomb will say, "i thought we had a lot of meaningful conversation, but i guess none of it was important enough to mention in your online journal. at least now i know how important i really am to you."

am i setting myself up for hilarity? you bet.

so, last week i started back at old alvy. this semester looks like it will be pretty sweet. i have three hours of studio art every day, which is delicious to me, but way lame compared to what liz w's got down at the art institute of chicago. it's only to be expected, though. i won't front.

a while ago, pappy bought the complete jeeves and wooster on dvd. we have been woostering it up together most nights, and it is pretty satisfying. mostly because, even with and hour of jeeves on weeknights, my life is still way more fulfilling than bertie's. thankfully. thinking about it, i am probably a comparably frivolous spender.

i spent a rainy saturday afternoon with brandie. i bought a dangerous painting instrument, and made her eat coffee beans and dried fruit. i hope she liked it. i pretty much love her.

2006-01-26T18:48:00.000-06:00

gushgushgush

today i sliced my thumb doing a simple bicycle adjustment, and i bled all over someone else's handle-bars. oops. sorry nobuko.

2006-01-24T22:13:00.000-06:00

college-student lookin'-ass

i have scientifically pinpointed the date whereon i became irrepressibly hip.

november third, nineteen eighty-eight.

for further proof, you can check out my baby side-bangs.

my first-ever second semester of college starts tomorrow. emotions i'm feeling: excited, apprehensive, neglectful. in that order, cyclically.

2006-01-21T21:26:00.000-06:00

coin-operated blog

so, if you suspected that i was going to hell after the puppy incident, there'll be no doubt in your mind after what i did today.

ok, so, in my defense, today was owner appreciation day at the outpost. it was maybe two o'clock, and the co-op had been swamped with people since eleven. they were pouring in for samplings and sales and free massages, and i was tired and worn and my hair had probably escaped from its bobby pins, standing out in a haggard halo around my face.

well anyways, this little girl who comes in with her pappy from time to time approached me with a small jar of applesauce in one hand, and a couple of dollars and assorted change in the other. her father, i believe, had just received a free massage and was sitting in one of the front-end chairs, looking relaxed. i rang up her sauce and leaned way over the conveyor belt to help her to give me the correct amount. one dollar and two quarters and one dime. i put the money in the till and take out the penny that was her change, lean back over the belt and, thinking i've given her a dollar and a penny by mistake take a dollar out of her hand and put it back in the till.

a minute later she comes up to me and says, in a tiny voice, i gave you a dollar, deep breath, butthenyoutookthedollarandthatwasmydollar.

i froze, and rewound, and cringed. oh. my. god. i just stole a dollar from a little girl.

i of course opened the till and gave her the dollar back. if i had been thinking a little more clearly, i would have given her an oops coupon too, a one dollar we-goofed policy that the outpost has. maybe next time she is in with pappy i will.

so far, i've wronged one (1) newborn puppy and one (1) cute little girl with wide eyes and curly hair. next on my list? i think i'm going to steal a messenger's bicycle. i'm so creul and cold, you put a coat on.

2006-01-16T20:05:00.000-06:00

the engagement

i'm not sure what kind of a preamble this merits, but it basically boils down to, "why don't you look at this work i was comissioned to do by an outpost-coworker for her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary."

tonight i got stood up at someone else's birthday party. how lame is that? i arrived a little early, and sat awkwardly, reading the sheltering branch and wishing i were invisible. as another group of people were getting up from their dessimated burritos, they asked me if i, too, were waiting for the individual in question. they gave me some chips and their greetings, and my wait continued. i eventually purchased some food and ate it half-heartedly.

i am kind of fed up with singularity. it doesn't become me.

2006-01-13T18:54:00.000-06:00

i am a blue machine

today i went to the funeral of fred reimer, the father of my brother's best girl and a baha'i from the north of here.

fred was what, fifty four?, and died from the treatment for cancer of the throat. it makes me think of Baha'u'llah's exhortation to bring ourselves to account each day, "for death, unheralded, shall come upon thee and thou shalt be called to give account for thy deeds."

2006-01-12T11:09:00.000-06:00

basking in the sun. i really missed it.

2006-01-11T01:43:00.000-06:00

if i fall down dying you know, she's bound to put a blanket on my bed

i cried tonight and you are pretty much all responsible. i just thought i'd let you know.