Wednesday, January 03, 2001
change me change me change me. what a name for a blog. to whom this command goes out, i really don't know. i have always hoped that one day, some unknowable higher power will suddenly change my life. i will become a better baha'i, be certain in my endeavors and so forth. i realize that this is a very irresponsible way to live your life, always hoping that someone else will make you a better person. i once read in the baha'i writings that no man can change himself, but when change occurs it is because he has made himself open to god, and god has changed him. but how do i make myself let god change me, or anyone, for that matter. i don't know. i wish i did. maybe i will change the name of this blog to dime (tell me). perhaps that would make more sense. but in any case, i hope that maybe, perhaps by some chance of extreme luck, this blog will let me find out who i am. i'm not very skilled in html, nor am i the greatest writer in the world by any definition, but that's not why i'm here. i'm here because i'm an extremely lonely, frustrated, sad adolescent individual. the first blog i posted on (and still do) is dan's site. now, on dan's site i was (for the most part) a rather funny, up-beat (or at least i tried to be) individual. i feel like i got stuck. because i told all of my friends about the site, i felt like i couldn't express my true opinions, especially if those opions were related to the readers if you get my drift. i then created a different blog, but i told people about it and, even though i did no work on it for a longish period of time, i still was self-conscious. i'm afraid that people will read my site and judge me for it. but i suppose that's a chance i'm going to have to take. while i was considering creating this site, i thought about what voice i wanted my writing to have. i knew the voice i took in my other site would not do, because it's impossible to clearly explain one's feelings if one always has to be happy. i wasn't enjoying it. i thought about writing similarly to that of jack saturn. but then, thinking about it, i realized that i needed to develope my own style to know my thoughts, if that makes any sense. so, this concludes my first post, rather lenthy and such, but i hope it clarifies my purposes. oh, and by the way, i'm a vegetarian. the reason my url has "pork rinds" in it stems from a book i read in sixth or seventh grade. it was called "staying fat for sarah byrns". i don't recall the author. but anyways, in the book there was an underground school newspaper called "crispy pork rinds", because all they had left to report on was the rinds, i guess that's kind of how i feel. but back to the point, which is the end of this post.
posted by emily oi! at 7:00:00 PM
0 comments
change me change me change me. what a name for a blog. to whom this command goes out, i really don't know. i have always hoped that one day, some unknowable higher power will suddenly change my life. i will become a better baha'i, be certain in my endeavors and so forth. i realize that this is a very irresponsible way to live your life, always hoping that someone else will make you a better person. i once read in the baha'i writings that no man can change himself, but when change occurs it is because he has made himself open to god, and god has changed him. but how do i make myself let god change me, or anyone, for that matter. i don't know. i wish i did. maybe i will change the name of this blog to dime (tell me). perhaps that would make more sense. but in any case, i hope that maybe, perhaps by some chance of extreme luck, this blog will let me find out who i am. i'm not very skilled in html, nor am i the greatest writer in the world by any definition, but that's not why i'm here. i'm here because i'm an extremely lonely, frustrated, sad adolescent individual. the first blog i posted on (and still do) is dan's site. now, on dan's site i was (for the most part) a rather funny, up-beat (or at least i tried to be) individual. i feel like i got stuck. because i told all of my friends about the site, i felt like i couldn't express my true opinions, especially if those opions were related to the readers if you get my drift. i then created a different blog, but i told people about it and, even though i did no work on it for a longish period of time, i still was self-conscious. i'm afraid that people will read my site and judge me for it. but i suppose that's a chance i'm going to have to take. while i was considering creating this site, i thought about what voice i wanted my writing to have. i knew the voice i took in my other site would not do, because it's impossible to clearly explain one's feelings if one always has to be happy. i wasn't enjoying it. i thought about writing similarly to that of jack saturn. but then, thinking about it, i realized that i needed to develope my own style to know my thoughts, if that makes any sense. so, this concludes my first post, rather lenthy and such, but i hope it clarifies my purposes. oh, and by the way, i'm a vegetarian. the reason my url has "pork rinds" in it stems from a book i read in sixth or seventh grade. it was called "staying fat for sarah byrns". i don't recall the author. but anyways, in the book there was an underground school newspaper called "crispy pork rinds", because all they had left to report on was the rinds, i guess that's kind of how i feel. but back to the point, which is the end of this post.
posted by emily oi! at 7:00:00 PM
0 comments
